How to make a fish pie (the hard way)

 Sometimes the best things in life are free. Sometimes nothing can be truly appreciated unless there is some difficulty in obtaining it. Sometimes you just want to sit on an icy cold harbour wall in the dark inches away from a 15ft drop into pitch black rocky surf. Time to go fishing!

I love fishing. As a youth I would fish with friends at the local canal using any method I could to catch perch and roach and gudgeon and more perch, and more perch, and more even tinier perch. etc.
Then I caught the carp fisher bug and would spend weekends bivvied (and bevvied) up trying to catch a 'twenty' (twenty pound fish). Later on I fell in love with the free roaming solitude of river fishing, rambling along the upper reaches of the river Welland catching wise old chub with the hugest lumps of luncheon meat imaginable. But, before all that, I went sea fishing with my Dad.

  I now own his legacy of old glass fibre Connoflex rods, Mitchell reels and battered old leather weight bag, but despite most of my sea fishing tackle being nearly forty years old, it still catches fish as well as it ever has. I also own his knowledge of the sea, well the bits I can remember at least and I like to think that every time I go sea fishing, a little bit of him lives on through my actions.

HOW TO CATCH A COD FOR A FISH PIE.

  First you need to know where to fish, sea fishing spots are known as 'marks'. Nothing beats local knowledge or first hand experience, but if approaching a new area for the first time it is often good to ask for advice in a local tackle shop. If that is a little tricky due to logistics then try on line resources such as the world sea fishing forum, beware though as most of the contributors to fishing forums are barely literate and tend to avoid any punctuation or correct grammar in favour of vague colloquial slang and obscure geographical references that will only make sense if you grew up in the immediate area. So a good deal of patience is required when researching fishing areas on line.

When living over in Fife I found Codhead Bob's website very useful.

BAIT

Next you need some bait. Now sea fishing tends to be a much more rudimentary affair than the delicate arts of course and fly fishing so more often than not bait consists of large natural worms, fish or squid, crabs or lures. For this particular trip I chose to dig my own lugworm.

First find a slightly muddy/sandy beach, preferably on an estuary. I went to Limekilns on the firth of Forth. Next check the tide times to find out when the tide is at it's lowest, more of the beach will be exposed greatly increasing your chances of finding some lugworm. Armed with a pair of wellies, a bucket for your finds and a garden fork to dig them up walk the beach carefully scanning the sand for one of these:

This strange sand squiggle is the discharged material for a lugworms home or 'burrow'. Lugworm live in U shaped burrows so look again for a nearby hole between which should reveal the true location of the warren.

Dig like a maniac and hopefully you will turn out the little beasty, and if you're lucky one or two more. I tend to find that the best places to dig are parts of the beach where the sand isn't very deep as more often than not the burrows are shallower resulting in more fruitful digs.

Here are some of the lovely lugworm all ready for a cod. I tend to dig about 50 or more for a few hours fishing with two rods. I usually my bait digging with fishing on the same day, therefore I
just add a little sand to my bait bucket and travel on to the sea fishing spot. Lugworm can be stored for longer if need be, check out Codhead Bob's website for more details.

TIME TO FISH

 Tide is crucial to fishing, often places fish best two hours before and after high water. However some spots are low water marks which are best fished, or can only be reached at low water. Tide height, weather conditions and time of year are all other factors which come into the equation. It is true that fishing is an infinitely variable activity. Again research and prior planning are your best friends.
 My chosen fishing spot was off the 'white' pier in the lovely little village of Anstruther on the East coast of Scotland. The coastline here is very rocky with skellies of rock fingering out from the shore into the sea. These can be seen on the picture below;

 

I fished from the spot on the end of the pier marked by the green frog, the fish below was caught roughly around where the fish icon is. The ground here was very rough with lots of rocks and kelp which I constantly snagged up on and lost rigs. It was very frustrating but I did manage a fishy for my fish pie!

 

There he is, a cod!

 

 

NOW LET'S APPLY THE MAGIC FISH PIE FORMULA. (as developed by the energy mogul NPower when formulating bills for their poor exploited customers)

 

F = 2{232/32}

-

pI X 0.000000000000000012 + AB3/23

 

1{2}S x pEAS

 

m4$H p07470 + CH3333D//ER

 

WH(111)/Te (source)

 

Boiled eggs

 

 

Wee Whisky Weview!

    There's nothing better in life than to intellectualise a wee dram. That's why I got all excited and had a little wee when I saw that the Good Spirits Company In Glasgow had a whisky and Gaelic tasting event last week. An interesting concept and part of their whisky lectures series of events (the last being whisky and astronomy which I unfortunately missed).

  On arrival there was a man from South Uist called Caillen (I think) who was providing the Gaelic half of the night, and as usual one of the Good Spirit's Company guys was talking through the whiskies. We were taught some Gaelic history, some Gaelic words and sayings and how they translate to modern language, also interestingly some Gaelic words which are now part of our common language (listed at the end of this blog). The concept I think was a real success. Prior to all the Calvinist prohibition and shutting down of 'illicit' stills in the 1700's is somewhat forgotten or not commonly known that Whisky was once a commodity for trade providing wealth and economic power to the native Scots especially on the isolated Gaelic speaking Islands. It's amazing how the establishment can warp the actions of ordinary people living independent lives and paint them as criminals or insurgents if it suits the governments selfish agenda. Anyhow. on to the whiskies.


Glen Grant Major's Reserve, 40% abv
Priced around £25

 The first whisky was Glen Grant's Major's Reserve, a no age statement whisky which is probably about 8 years old. We were given this whisky as the style of Glen Grant is extremely popular in Northern Italy, which also happens to be where the Gaelic language and people originated. The language and people spread around the coast of Europe, past France, Spain, Wales and Ireland before culminating on the western Scottish Isles and Hebrides, leaving the language and culture as they went. Daily Mirror readers take note that people have always been 'immigrants' and it is a natural part of human society. This whisky was a nice light, fragrant dram with notes of apples and orange peel and a light honeyed vanilla. The mouth feel was light as you'd expect for a malt at 40% with chill filtering. I'd never tasted a Glen Grant before, although I do occasionally see it the brand isn't massively popular. Interestingly though I found out that it is massive in Italy, possibly due to the light style being well suited to drinking as an aperitif or in a warmer climate, so often a brand which is relatively small in the UK can be massive elsewhere. I liked it, it was perfectly decent whisky and very enjoyable, but alas didn't have the complexity and fullness of a non filtered dram.

The next up was a blended malt from the Gaelic whisky company called Poit Dhubh which roughly translates as black pot, a kind of euphemism for an illicit still. We found out that the Gaelic whisky company was set up by the English aristocrat Sir Ian Noble on the Isle of Skye who was keen to revive the Gaelic language and culture with almost tyrannical practices. We heard some first hand accounts of how he demanded that his workforce speak Gaelic at all times or else they lost their jobs (plus other dubious tales about him). He is viewed equally as a Gaelic champion and a total bastard by many!
 Apparently this whisky has a lot of Talisker at it's heart which shows as it has a lovely hit of peat and iodine and quite a briny coastal vibe. There's a lot of spice and quite a jammy hint to the nose and palate. Very nice but not my favourite.

Price about £35

    Next up was a beautiful whisky by anCnoc, their 22 year old. My favourite of the night. Due to reading good reviews I've tried the 16 year old on several occasions and really liked it, but this was extra special. Bottled at 46% abv, non chill filtered and with no added colourant from a mixture of oloroso and bourbon casks, Matthew from the Good Spirits Company was very excited to spread it's virtues. The Gaelic link here was to highlight the silly rebranding by marketeers to rename the whisky from the Knockdu distillery to anCnoc so as not to be confused with the other nearby Speyside distillery Knockando. Gaelic rebranding is often used by whisky marketeers but more often than not they don't understand the pronunciation or the true meaning. This whisky is a prime example as the packaging states the C should be silent but in actual fact the C should be pronounced as the KN in Knockdu. My tasting notes are as follows;

Nose: Sweet, lovely fruity sherry, touch of smoke, umptious and tropical

Taste: Very complete and rich, has a lovely flavour envelope which moves through vanilla, guava and passion fruit through to a lovely dry smoky finish with a lovely oakiness.

A beautiful whisky with a rounded maturity not present in any of the others at this tasting.

Price about £85

NEXT!

The next whisky was met with excitement from many and was apparently shoe horned in to the tasting, ousting a more relevant whisky in terms of the Gaelic educational thread simply beacause Cailleen fancied trying it! It was Glen Garioch 1999 Sherry Cask bottled at a cask strength 56.3%.
Glen Garioch is an example of confusing Gaelic pronunciation as it should be spoken as Glen Geary. There you go! The whisky was obviously very sherried, I think they said that first fill oloroso casks were solely used in it's maturation. Initially the nose was incredibly full of the most lovely brown sugar and Demerara notes, think Dundee cake. However with water things went a little downhill. A bitter drying sulphur note appeared which I found a little unpleasant. Other members of the group seemed unaffected, maybe they were too proud to admit their shortcomings? Sulphur is used to treat casks after they have been used for maturing the sherry prior to shipment for whisky purposes, the sulphur is administered via a 'candle' to sterilise the cask and stop the remainding sherry residue turning to vinegar etc. Occasionally though the sulphur is very present in the resulting whisky such as this one.

Price about £65





 The penultimate whisky comes in the form of a trendy rebranding by the unfashionable Tomatin distillery. Strangely the Tomatin distillery is absolutely massive considering how widely unknown it's whisky is, with the capacity to produce several million litres of booze per year. However it's giant capacity dates back to a time before prohibition and this distillery has fluctuated it's output ever since. Also like other large but mainly unknown distillery in terms of single malt such as Speyburn and Linkwood, most of Tomatin's output goes into blends. Maybe this trendy new, Gaelic twinged, peaty rebrand is an attempt to captured the current zeitgeist for single malts and 'craft' products? Cu Bocan is the name of a mystical black beast which apparently haunts the local area. Convenient marketing back story fodder.

 

Nose: Initially a bit like strawberry/raseberry laces. A real bubble gummy confectionary nose! Notes of nuts and soft peat come in. Very nice.

 

Taste: Not that peaty at 15ppm, sweet malt and young with lovely fruity esthers.

Price about £35

 

Probably my number 3 malt.

 

 

 

    Last by in no way least was a whisky I was very excited about. A new cask strength Springbank bottled at 54.7% after being matured for 9 years in ex Itailian Barolo red wine casks by a top producer Gaja. There is a Gaelic link but I have forgotten it (possibly due to alcohol intake), something to do with a common link between the wine producer and Springbank like the Longrow Red which was matured in Australian red wine casks from the Longrow vineyard. A long time ago when I first got into whisky at the Leicester Malt Club we had a sampling of the Longrow Gaja Barolo and I remember it well. This time the Springbank version from the Campbletown distillery has had this type of maturation. Springbank is a truly artisanal affair, once Campbeltown was a massive whisky producer now only Springbank and Glen Scotia remain. Springbank use local barley, do their own malting, mature in traditional dunnage warehouses and even bottle on site. The results are a labour intensive yet truly traditional production method providing maximum employment to local people and excellent whisky with unique provenance and terroir. I learnt at this tasting an interesting fact about maturation. Note that the alcoholic strength of the Springbank is lower (54.7%) than the older Glen Garioch (56.3%) despite it being several years younger. This is due to the relatively higher humidity and milder conditions in Campbeltown compared to other regions in Scotland. In humid air the alcohol evaporates much more quickly from the barrel therefore the whisky loses it's potency faster.

Nose: Strange, very sweet and peaty, salty, coal fires

Taste: Lovely smooth sweetness with the typical Springbank mineral oiliness too, brine and coal smoke. Apparently this has the same peatiness as the Cu Bocan at 15ppm but it tastes way more smokey than the Tomatin. Could be to do with the more rustic and less controlled production methods varying the actual peating levels?

Price about £58


A very close second.....

Glasgow pubs

Tennents, why have choice, why try harder, why value quality, why bother, why not live on a main road, with no niceties, next to a speed camera , next to a grey harled hoose, like ya maw's grey harled hoose, next to the dead dockyard, next to the dying man outside the bookies smoking the value cigarette that caused the tumour he is drinking to forget. Oh Scottish pubs. Dark days indeed.

 Well no! and here's a few reasons why!

Great Scottish pubs

No. 1 The Potstill

'Some twat's ordered a Tennent's, quick give them a pint of Red Smiddy and show them the light'

Oh the Potstill.. Look there's Francis behind the bar with his lovely ginger beard and quirky modern kilt. He's no tourist bagpiper, he's a man with an awesome old pub, doing it justice by serving great local beer and punting the whisky which Scotland is oh so good at making. It's so good in fact that the Japanese Malt Terrorists come to Scotland specifically to come to this very bar just to buy a dram. The Potstill on Hope Street is a place one can read the paper on ones own in the afternoon, or stand shoulder to shoulder with the musicians from the BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra after a gig or lean on the bar by an ancient American millionaire heritage pilgrim with McSomething as his surname drinking a dram of 25 year old Port Ellen (a fine suggestion by Francis and his X-ray wallet vision). No really this is a great pub, for it's honesty, for it's simple pie and beans menu, for it's excellent pints, for it's massive selection of whisky, for it's great service and advice, for it's location. I love the Potstill and so should you.

The Lismore

Oh look at it, lovely Victorian OTT décor. Could you possibly imagine how much it would cost to build and dress a building to that quality now? The Lismore has been renovated, but by artists. Inside is all old stone, snug nooks and beautiful stained glass depicting the Glasgow outside who's light is filtered by the colours inside.
 It's not just about the price of a pint or whether you can catch the game in there. If you want to watch fucking football and drink, do it at home. It's about atmosphere, about history, about fresh beer and people. Oh and they have a good selection of whisky too. I've only been here twice, but I love it. I particularly like the monument to the English gentlemen in charge of the clearances in the gents, piss on them as they pissed on our country, love it. A great public place is one that speaks for the public.

The Bon Accord

Not the worlds best looker, and contradictory to my judgemental and sensationalist introduction to this blog as situated right next to the M8 motorway, but let the facts speak. This is the home of two Glasgow whisky clubs. They have over 300 malt whiskies and TEN real ales on tap at any one time. Plus the pub food is unpretentious and good. I once saw an old man have a suspected heart attack in here, in a wild panic an ambulance was called and when it arrived he was looked at outside by the paramedics, quietness descended on the collection of drinkers inside. Half an hour later he was back inside enjoying a pint and a Macallan. Nuff said.

The Horseshoe Bar

Down Drury lane is the Horseshoe bar, with apparently the longest bar in Britain. If I could suggest to a space alien where they should spend an afternoon to best understand Glasgow in all it's detail then this is where I would send them. Good pints of decent ale are mixed with the regular fair but they also have good deals on drams (£3.50 for a double Talisker on last inspection). Conveniently on my way home if I were to walk past two bus stops.

The Ben Nevis

Contemporary styling, the west end, makeover. But it's a great pub. Wish I could get over that way more. They have live music too. It kinds of sets the benchmark for how traditional Scottish inns should be 'modernised' by taking the cosy, earthy qualities and decorative charm and honesty and adding some creative modern thoughtfulness to the whole affair. Loads of whisky and loads of charm. Oh and a good pint.

Babbity Bowsters

   What a silly name! This pub should be in Edinburgh surely not? The orchestral muso's other hang out, Babbity Bowsters is a great little find. Down a back street, away from the common footfall and they serve a great pint. In fact they get special commendation from me as they tend to serve lower alcohol session beers by local brewers that are always fresh and well kept. The main reason to come here though is the informal folk sessions which happen on Tuesdays and Saturdays I think (but possibly more often?). Nothing beats a nice pint and tapping ones foot to a fiddle beside a log fire.


So there you have it. There are more but let's save that for another day shall we?

Minky moo.

Banana and coconut carribean banana fun cake

 Think of the most amazing cake ever, then times it by ten! Then times it by ten again.



Spider likes this cake too.


You're not even close to the amazingness of this cake.

So where did it come from? How did I think of something so amazing???!!!

Truth is I took this recipe from Nigel Slater then changed a few things as that's what I had in the cupboard. The results however.... were spectacular. Let the statistics speak for themselves

100% of people who tried this cake said it was the best banana bread they'd ever tasted.
100% of people said they didn't care about the calories and butter they just want another slice
100% of people said even with a large scary spider made out of pipe cleaners guarding it they would go back for more

(2 people surveyed)

Wessippy

Ingredients

• 175g/6oz unsalted butter, softened
• 175g/6oz sugar (half light muscovado, half golden caster)
• 75g/2½oz hazelnuts - AHA! swap that for the same amount of dessicated coconut.
• 2 free-range eggs
• 175g/6oz self-raising flour
• 2 very ripe bananas (about 250g/9oz total weight)
• drop vanilla extract - NO, add a good glug of Jamaican rum and some Angostura bitters
• 175g/6oz good-quality dark or milk chocolate chips
• a little demerara sugar
• Assorted pipe cleaners in dark colours

Preparation method

1. Preheat the oven to 170C/325F/Gas 3. Line the base and sides of a 20cm x 12cm/8in x 5in loaf tin with baking parchment.
2. Beat the butter and sugars until light and coffee-coloured. This is best achieved in a food mixer.
3. Toast the hazelnuts, rub them in a tea towel to remove their skins, then grind quite finely.
4. Slowly add the eggs to the butter and sugar mixture, then mix in the toasted ground hazelnuts and self-raising flour.
5. Peel the bananas and chop them the small pieces. Gently fold the vanilla extract, the bananas and the chocolate chips into the cake mixture, turning gently and taking care not to overmix. I loosened the mixture with some milk.
6. Scoop the cake batter into the prepared loaf tin. Dust with a little demerara sugar. Bake for between 1 hour and 1 hour 10 minutes, covering the cake with foil if the top starts to darken too quickly.
7. Whilst cooking make a spider out of pipe cleaners to guard the cake from terrorists.

FONDUUUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Time for a fondue.

 

If you've never had a fondue,

I'm afraid that just wont do.

They're easy and very cheesy,

And extremely good for you.

Dipping chunks of fun,

Then going 'yum, yum yum!'

So get out your fondue pot

And go and scoff the lot!!

Now I guess you don't necessarily need a proper fondue set to have a fondue, any heavy saucepan will do especially if you have some way of keeping it warm. But a real one is great, and relatively easily found on ebay or the like. I know Le Crueset do one new too.

Fondue recipe

• Clove of garlic
• 3/4 pint of dry white wine
• 1tsp lemon juice
• 10oz grated Emmental
• 10oz grated Gruyere or Comte
• 3 tbsp. cornflour
• 3 tbsp. of kirsch
• white pepper, grated nutmeg and paprika to taste

Rub inside of the pan with the garlic/smash up. Then heat up the wine and lemon juice carefully so as not to boil. Add the grated cheese slowly whilst stirring continuously, the idea is to evenly melt all of the cheese without it burning or sticking. When bubbling add the kirsch and cornflour blended together. Cook for another couple of minutes until the fondue starts to thicken. Season with pepper and spices.

Serving

 Now cubes of bread are a must for me but I guess anything small and dippable that goes with cheese could be used too. Go ape.

Suggestions are as follows;

New potatoes,
Cauliflower chunks,
Broccoli florets,
Small gerkins or cornichons,
Chunks of salami or other cured meats,
Pickled onions,
Scampi,
Chips (ultimate chips and cheese),
Raw carrots
Bon bons,
etc
etc

Oh and a glass of dry white wine such as a Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling or Gruner Veltliner. Or even a kirsch!

Real fish and chips

 You know sometimes when you just want fish and chips. You know when you wake up and all you want is crispy batter, even before you've had breakfast. Then you base your entire day about finding said fish and chips then eating said fish and chips, then going online to write about said fish and chips to prolong the pleasure and relive the experience like the self indulgent tragic trait that psychopathic serial killers have which always seems to get them caught. Well today I had one of those days.

  Due to being a reduced to a hobbling mess after burning my foot, doing normal things has been very hard recently. I've been having to think like an old person when it comes to doing anything outside of the flat. How far is it from the car park? For example, is something that never really bothered me until now. So in order to get some Autumn air we took a drive out past Loch Lomond (and the disappointing mushrooms) to visit the Jail at Inveraray as I wouldn't have too far to hobble. What my wife didn't know was that I had woken up wanting fish and chips.

 Thankfully fish and chips is what we had and more than that it was accompanied by my other great love in life. Real ale! Now here comes a minor rant, so be warned. As an Englishman living in Scotland I am often perplexed about the direness of Scottish pubs, particularly Scottish country inns. For example take the Lake District national park, a beautiful part of the country, a major tourist attraction blessed by a good dusting from the proper pub fairy. Almost all the villages and hamlets no matter how small or stranded up a tiny lane they may be have at least one pub, more often than not two or three, usually serving a good pint of proper local beer. Now look at the Loch Lomond and Trossachs national park, equally beautiful, equally attractive to tourists, slightly larger even, but totally barren of places to get a decent pint. Instead as with most of rural Scotland you will mainly find wanky golf club bistros and those massive uninviting Victorian hotels often with a bad flat roof extension done sometime in the 70's that only coach parties of old ladies and Americans go to.

The proximity to the main road gives excellent access for
coach loads of grannies well catered for by our 'soft foods' menu.

 

Anyway...... (ranting panting pause)...... Therefore we were pleasantly surprised when we stepped foot inside the George Hotel in Inveraray in hunt of lunch. It was a Sunday and it was very busy full of depressed looking dads, rich looking mums and wailing babies (with the odd oh so troubled and like totes embarrassed teenager for good measure) but apart from that it was a proper nice old inn. Old oak antiques which were actively used and not just there for style magazine deco purposes, real fires, cosy nooks, flagstone floors and dingy lighting. All signs of a good traditional drinking establishment. There was no 'contemporary' styling makeover either where the 'old red lion' becomes 'the lion at <insert village name>' with the old sign replaced by a minimal placard in silver or grey.

     We were seated by a person who worked there which nodded to their focus on being an eating pub as opposed to a drinking pub and were handed a very standard but classic pub menu. To their credit they avoided doing the self indulgent thing that some similar pubs do by referring to items on the menu as having some special merit because, low and behold they actually made the food they serve by saying things like 'Steak with 'Old Red Lion' chips' etc. Meaningless and annoying. We were very tempted by the roast of the day but when I read 'all items are fried in animal fat' there was no argument.

  So the fish and chips arrived with no mushy peas! Just fish and chips, but again I forgive them as boy was it good! Proper soft centred but crunchy chips and sweet fresh haddock with a tasty batter thanks to the lard or dripping used for cooking. It was washed down by a brilliantly fresh pint of October Gold (not sure who brewed it but possibly Fyne Ales as there are just up the road?). Healthy? No. Tasty? Oh yes! It really hit the spot. Fish and chips vary greatly and so do the positive attributes needed to judge them. Some fish and chips are great because the batter is super light and crispy, some because the batter is a bit stodgy but rammed full of flavour like a Yorkshire pudding soaked in gravy. Same goes for chips. This particular fish and chips fell into the proper chip shop category so being able to have this style of frying along with a pint and a log fire was a real winner.

 It must be noted that on leaving I checked out an impressive range of whiskies and some interesting gins too, possibly something to do with having a great whisky shop over the road (loch fine whiskies) behind the bar and the pictures of the rooms looked amazing. We left, satisfied.

Fuck, am I becoming a food snob?

Pomegranate tabbouleh, An amazing taboulation celebration!

 No not to do with guitar tabulation! This is a quick post about a great Moroccan style recipe I stumbled across when looking for something to do with pomegranates.

 Now I love pomegranates but have as of only recently tried to do something other than munch them in front of telly. Pomegranates are a little like pistachios (which also feature in this recipe) as they require a certain level of effort and fiddling to eat. Avoid the bitter yellow pith and you are rewarded by lovely little sweet nuggets and very sticky hands. As this recipe has both 'stachios and pom poms the prep does take a little while but it is really worth it.

Recipe taken from BBC website album including the hit single - Welsh lamb in hay with Tabbouleh salad by James Martin

INGWEDEANTS

250g/9oz bulgur wheat, soaked in cold water for 3-4 hours

1-2 tbsp harissa paste

100g/3½oz shelled almonds

4 apricots, stone removed and chopped

100g/3½oz shelled pistachios

1 large bunch fresh mint, chopped

1 large bunch fresh flatleaf parsley, chopped

1 pomegranate, seeds removed

1 lemon, juice only

salt and black pepper

50ml/2fl oz olive oil

 

Now I didn't have any fresh apricots, almonds, harissa or mint so I replaced the apricocks with some fresh figs, the mint with dried mint and the harissa with some hot Mexican chilli sauce. Not quite the same but I couldn't justify a trip to the supermarket and expenses involved.

 

Method

 

Drain the bulgur wheat then just cover with boiling water and soak for 10 mins. Prepare all the other ingredients then mix with the bulgur wheat and mix with olive oil to loosen.

 

I served it with a squash and chick pea stew from River Cottage veg.

 

yum 

 

 

Whisky pairings to make your life better

 Whisky is a drink which is not often thought of as a pairing partner. The world of wine, possibly because of the cultures of the wine producing countries tends to go hand in hand with food. Wines are made to go with food, food is made to go with wine. But whisky tends to be revered as a lonely solitary drink. An end to a meal, a treat in front of a log fire, breakfast. I have experienced first hand the reaction of an old traditional malt lover when my wife stated how much a sherried Bunnahabhian would go with a sticky toffee pudding, he was ready to ring the Daily Mail. I could go on stroking my chin about the reason some drinks are treated differently to others and the issues surrounding British drinking culture, but no lets get on and have a drink!

Whisky and chocolate

  Now I have seen several tasting events advertised for whisky and chocolate, the Whiski Rooms in Edinburgh had some single estate chocolates paired with some Dalmore's. In my experience, deep sherried malts like GlenDronach, Aberlour etc. go beautifully with rich, high cocoa, quality chocolates. I think the secret lies in the sweetness balance. Some whiskies are actually quite sweet so work well with the chocolate's bitterness. The warm spices found in sherry matured whisky also enhances the bitter vegetal note in good chocolate. Also don't rule out a peaty one either. I love Lagavulin 16yo with chocolate and I have a bottle of Port Charlotte 10yo (again with a large amount of sherry maturation) which is great with a choco treat too. Damn, this is making my mouth water!

Whisky and cheese

Now this is something I was introduced to by the Compass Box tasting notes. A good salty pungent blue cheese works a treat with a peaty, salty, smoky Islay malt such as Lagavulin or Bowmore. Unlike port's sweetness and spicy fruity warmth working with the sour, salty savoury notes of say Stilton, a smoky whisky lifts a blue cheese. The spirit high notes sing on top of the saltiness which is shared by both. Seriously, try it. I also think that a bourbon matured malt goes well a lighter hard cheese, such as a good cheddar. I'd really like to try matching a Clynelish with some cheese as I'm sure there will be some magic.

Whisky and seafood

Once on holiday in the delightful Robin Hood's Bay I treated myself to some local kippers which  went beautifully with the new Port Charlotte 10yo. Whisky for breakfast! Well I was on holiday...
Again the key was matching the similar elements. Bruichladdich produce whisky with a lovely brininess and coastal vibe, couple that with the sweet peat smoke and slightly tarry element of the Port Charlotte, the whisky itself is quite kipper like (in a nice way).
 I had a great smoked haddock chowder which was only made better by a dram of peated Bunnahabhian Toiteach. It was a slightly younger and cereally spicy malt which work well with the creamy sauce and sweetness of the potatoes and of course the smokiness of the fish was accentuated with the peatiness of the whisky.
I'd like to try Caol Ila with Oysters too. Bet that'd work.

Whisky and rich puddings

 I once almost had a male orgasm whilst eating a sticky toffee pudding with a big sherried Aberlour. Don't order your malt after desert, order it at the same time!


So go on, experiment!

Found these websites too with further suggestions
 http://my.entertainment.yahoo.com/news/5-scottish-whiskey-seafood-pairings-092558463.html
http://www.matchingfoodandwine.com/news/pairings/20070419/?tag=drink:spirits (and) cocktails

A positive mushroom post and a tasty stir fry

 Here's some proof you can go on a lovely walk and also end up with a tasty dinner too!

Glen Ure, Argyll

The other week I went on a little family stroll up the picturesque Glen Creran to Glen Ure in Argyle. The glorious October sun was shining and low and behold so was the mushroom god too. Beside an old farmhouse was a couple of large decaying felled trees growing on which were a nice amount Oyster Mushrooms. Now I like oyster mushrooms, they are easy enough to diagnose, tasty and usually clean and not full of nasty wriggling things. I usually take a sneaky carrier bag with me in my pocket on such jaunts but this time I didn't so I carefully stuffed as many as I could in my pockets on the way back home. Fresh oyster mushrooms have a very distinct smell, very clean and slightly perfumed. My jacket now permanently smells like oyster mushrooms.

 So what to do with them!

 Wild mushroom stirfry - with extra violent kung foo cooking methods and a Szechuan twist
Serves two-ish

About 250g of oyster mushrooms or shitake (not orange birch bolete as they are shit) roughly chopped
A nest of egg noodles - not chopped
1 x onion sliced with a machete
2 x cloves of garlic beaten with a hammer
Half a packet of mange tout that were left over (whole as you will need some rest for the next ingredient to be processed)
Small red chilli - head-butted until finely minced (avoid eye contact)
A thumb sized piece of ginger finely chopped or smashed with a baseball bat
Light soy sauce
Shoaxing cooking wine
10 or so Szechuan pepper corns
Sweet chilli sauce
Sesame oil

Method
 First prepare all the veg so they are at hand and ready to go for when you cook, remember stir fries need to be hot and quick! Have a sit down if need be. Get a pan of salted water on to boil and then cook the noodles until done, drain and add a glug of sesame oil to keep them separate and add a nice whack of flavour, I drain them in the pan then put the lid back on to keep them warm. Get your wok nice and smoking hot. PUT THE EXTRACTOR FAN ON AND CLOSE THE KITCHEN DOOR AS YOU WILL SET OFF THE BLOODY SMOKE ALARM AGAIN. Add a good glug of oil and then quickly fry the garlic, ginger and chilli plus the Szechuan pepper corns, the oil carries the flavour through the dish. After about 30 seconds pop in the onions and keep everything moving, next add the mushrooms. A lot of water may come off them so keep the heat up and possibly pour a bit of liquid off and reduce in another pan if need be. Add the mange tout and a good slug of the soy sauce, the shaoxing wine and the sweet chilli sauce. Stir in the noodles and mix everything right up. Cook for a minute or so then dish up. I like to top with fresh coriander and pickled ginger. Goes beautifully with an off dry aromatic white like a Vouvray or Gerwurztraminer.

The myths of hunting wild mushrooms

 I am mildly obsessive. There are two books in my possession which act as a kind of hyper obsession catalysts, one being Jim Murray's Whisky Bible and the other being a similar sized pocket reference book on wild mushrooms by Shelley Evans and Geoffrey Kibby (Dorling Kindersly Pocket Nature series). I sit and read these books from cover to cover, I flick through their pages when I can't sleep, I read facts on rare beasts that I may never see, pick or drink. They are small, not too wordy and fact based in a clear alpha numeric order with a logical structure of classifications and sub species. They sooth my brain with geeky goodness and lull my listlessness with lists and lots more lists to boot. Of course the actual point of these books is to provide an easy and informative reference source for navigating an area with a vast amount of variation and some possible danger (less so in whisky). But what is most important is not the facts that they contain, it is the navigational help along your personal journey and experiences they facilitate. The confidence in having someone else to run your choices against, the shared expertise to make informed decisions, the realisation of possibility. This blog is not about whisky but about a recent experience picking mushrooms.



View over Loch Lomond from the slopes of Beinn Eich

  Last week was a bad week, I mean properly shit. I haven't had much work since graduating from the Royal Clown School so have spent a lot of time at home, on my own watching repeats of Top Gear. On Thursday I found out that an interview was unsuccessful for a job which would have been perfect for me. I was properly down in the dumper trucks. To break the cycle I took myself for a walk up Beinn Dubh near Luss on the bonny banks of Loch Lomond. It would have been a glorious walk in clear weather but the rain came in so I couldn't make the summit. I broke off track to head down hill... literally. The first thing to remember about Scottish Highlands is that main reason why it is wild and sparsely populated is because it is bloody hard work to do anything there. Unlike the pastoral lowlands there are no pleasant meadows, instead mile after mile of steeply inclined, bleak, boggy, midge infested wilderness where the weather could turn on you in an instant and ticks and cleggs want to suck your blood and eat your brains.



The low cloud and rain we all love

After a long tough ramble down the side of the glen I reached a small track leading back to the dryness of my parked car on Glen Luss. Wringing wet and probably covered in deer ticks (I saw several large stags in their magnificence and heard many more roaring across the hills, in fact I used deer tracks to make my way back down to the road). I was feeling a little more alive, the point of this jaunt. Then I saw one. The first rule of wild mushrooms is that they always turn up when you least expect them, therefore if you are a true mushroom hunter you should always be looking for them out the corner of your eye.



 The narrow lane was lined by steep banks and birch forest. The steep banks exposed the root mass of the birch trees and there for all to see were some lovely examples of orange birch boletes or possibly Foxy Boletes which live symbiotically with the trees. From my experience public roads and paths often yield more results for the mushroom hunter than the wilder depths of the wood, mushrooms although in the grey area between plant and animal aren't as shy as the furry types with legs. A quick reassurance from my trusty reference book gave me good reason to pick a few for the pot.

And here was my haul! A mixture of boletus mainly the orange birch/foxy ones, a couple of brown birch boletes and some grey coloured slate boletes. There was one rogue one with a slight red hue to the stem which I disposed of quickly. Always cross reference mushrooms and if in any form of doubt at all do not eat! So with a lovely lot of wild foods to cook with I set about dinner, I had some simple fajitas and refried beans planned so thought I could use the mushrooms in the main fajita mix, frying them quickly in a hot wok so not to stew them in their own juices as they were very wet from the conditions of picking.

 And here was our feast. Ooh it could be taken from an article in the weekend Guardian or from Hugh Fearnley-Whittenstall's latest book, River Cottage Smug. But here is the reality; the mushrooms were SHIT. No seriously, they cooked down to a nasty bland slimy mush in a matter of seconds and were genuinely a bit unpleasant to eat. Now I have found many other species which were great to eat such as Ceps/Penny buns/Porcini, Chanterelles, Fairy ring champignons, horse mushrooms, oyster mushrooms, hedgehog fungus and field mushrooms. But these bolete's despite being described as edible and tasty in my field guide were not. It could well have been because they were older specimens, they were not decomposing or maggot infested but were very wet and saturated with water. So possibly in better condition they could have been good, maybe. But here is the lesson, wild foods are unpredictable and as fashionable and twee as the idea of eating from the wild and foraging ones way back to the good life may sound in reality you may well end up slightly disappointed. So here's my advice, read your guide books, fill your head with knowledge and keep your eye out when walking in the countryside or anywhere in actual fact but don't expect that massive haul of beautiful porcini. Just know that they are out there and if you are lucky enough to stumble their way you could spot them from the mushroom majority.





What to cook your loved one on a wednesday?

 So it's Wednesday, it's probably raining, it's the middle of the month and you have no money. What do you do?

 That's right! Cook something great for a little mid week treat! But then you have the next problem, what to cook? Of course there are recipe books and online resources full of suggestions for you but with a world of choices at you disposal but a limited fridge full of stuff, you may well feel a little.. um.. limited. But don't panic as I'd like to share with you some of my tried and tested methods for creating just the right meal to lift a sullen midweek soul.

First address what you are hungry for; is it spicy, rich, light, salad based, pasta, meaty, non meaty?
Then stare at your fridge until you realise that you don't quite have all of the ingredients.

The key is to have some special little store cupboard treats lined up for just such a time and a portfolio of tasty little recipes to use them in. Here are some suggestions for one such item and how they can be used to save oneself from midweek melancholia.

Dried porcini mushrooms

 These little bastards are perfect for adding savoury depth to a pasta, sauces or mixing with the regular mushrooms you may have knocking about to add a little richness and sparkle. Soak them in boiling water until soft to create a lovely stock which is perfect for a mushroom risotto or creamy sauces to go with white meats or even steaks. Here is one such example;

PS. I'm confusingly listing options in the ingredients list, not because Jamie Oliver does but because sometimes another option may be on offer in the supermarket or you have something left that needs using up. Certain foods share common characteristics and therefore a recipe can work just as well by swapping ingredients within these groups (as long as the basic principles are stuck too). I will blog about in this in greater detail in the near future.

Pork schnitzels with creamy mushroom sauce (a bit of a bastardised version of jaeger schnitzel)
Serves 2 (1 man and 1 beautiful woman)

Ingredients
2 x pork chops, or pork fillet, or chicken or turkey breasts as you need to cook them quickly, perhaps some meaty white fish such as cod (mushrooms and fish are quite common in Italian cooking)
2 x cloves of garlic all bashed and chopped up
A handful of dried porcini mushrooms soaked in a cup with boiling water
1 x small brown onion finely diced, or a couple of shallots
1 x cupful of stock, if serving with pork use veg or chicken
Dijon or wholegrain mustard (another useful store cupboard essential)
1 x tsp of paprika
1/2 x small pot of crème fraiche, or single or double cream but a little sharpness may need adding by means of a squeeze of lemon or white wine
1 x lemon
A bit of plain flour seasoned with salt and pepper on a wide plate
1 x some fresh parsley will be nice as will thyme or even sage (think classic pork accompaniments) but only if you have some.
oil and butter for frying

Method
Preheat your oven to 50C
Get out a nice large heavy bottomed frying or sauté pan, a plate and some tinfoil.
First use a meat hammer or a rolling pin to bash the meat on a hard surface such as a chopping board, the aim is to slightly flatten the meat out to speed up cooking and to tenderise it by breaking down the muscle fibres. If using pork chops you could take the bone out or skip this step completely. Do not bash fish with a mallet as this will make a mess.
 Once the meat is bashed up you can lightly coat it with the seasoned flour on the wide plate.
Get the rest of the ingredients ready as you will need to crack on with the sauce as soon as the meat is cooked. Get the pan nice and hot but not too smoky as you'll burn the flour, put in a good glug of oil and a knob of butter. Fry the meat until nicely browned and cooked through (check with a knife after about 8mins). I like to cook the pork so it is still nice and juicy, if you like to cook meat until it is tough and dry you will never know how what meat should taste like. You probably read the daily mail too. Once cooked put on a tray or plate, cover with tin foil and leave to rest in the warm oven.
If the pan has a lot of burnt on stuff, give it a scrape before starting the next step but leave a little as it will help flavour and thicken the sauce. ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION?!! (just checking)
Pop in a bit more butter/oil in the same pan so that the onions and garlic have something to fry in. Recently I've started adding the onions first when I create sauce bases like this as I find the smaller cut garlic with it's higher sugar content can burn and go bitter before the onions have softened nicely. Soften the onions and garlic nicely and add the paprika and some herbs if you have some (pop out into your beautiful kitchen garden perfectly manicured by a bunch of smiley eco-volunteers). Next step is to add some liquid, so go on pour in the stock, the mushrooms and their juice (cut them up if they are too big) a dollop of mustard and last but not least the crème fraiche (but do not go boiling crazy once this is in). Be flexible with the liquid as you want a nice consistency. Before you serve, check for seasoning.
Gently drizzle the mushroomy goodness of the sauce all over the succulent mass that is the meat and serve with some good veg and mash. Or potato croquettes and spaghetti hoops, it's your life.

Options:
If you fancy cider then a good glug in the sauce will go reet lovely with the pork and the rest can be drunk whilst cooking or to serve. Try something slightly oaky like Weston's vintage cider as the oakiness goes well with the slight smokiness of the mushrooms and paprika.

 Wine will add a nice sharp twang to the sauce and like wise is a good excuse to do a Keith Floyd. A nice medium bodied white goes well with the slight sweetness of the cream.

STOP PRESS!!

LIDL (the cut price German concentration camp of the supermarket world) has some lovely German Spatzle in at the mo which is lovely cooked for a little longer than the suggested 15mins and coated in the above sauce.

Why an egg roll is no bad thing to have four days on the trot.

Food is fashionable. There's no doubting this fact. Food is also universal, everyone needs it to survive but some people strive to eat organic, to consume responsibly and to buy local, some people strive to eat more cheaply and therefore tend to do the opposite, some people want to eat less and to lose weight, some people should eat a bit more and put some weight on, and while some people strive to eat more greens, some people strive to eat no greens at all. There's a lot of voices out there telling us what we should do with regards to food, some for the good of us, some for the good of the protagonist's wallets. That is why I have created the LIDL luncheon club. My Blog will be about my adventures with food and the pleasure it can give, it will also be about the places food can take a hungry adventurer and the realities of day to day eating. Life is full of contradictions and compromises, I for example love single malt whisky, yet cannot afford to drink it very often, so I watch videos of people drinking it online.....
Bon apetit!